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"Women are socialized to make men feel good. We’re socialized to “let you down easy.” We’re not socialized to say a clear and direct “no.” We’re socialized to speak in hints and boost egos and let people save face. People who don’t respect the social contract (rapists, predators, assholes, pickup artists) are good at taking advantage of this. “No” is something we have to learn. “No” is something we have to earn. In fact, I’d argue that the ability to just say “no” to something, without further comment, apology, explanation, guilt, or thinking about it is one of the great rites of passage in growing up, and when you start saying it and saying it regularly the world often pushes back. And calls you names."

The art of “no.” « CaptainAwkward.com (via delascielo)

I was in a self help group and we went over assertiveness. Something we brought up is how if you say “no, i can’t because (excuse/reason here)” you can become more vulnerable to persuasion…that is that if the person you’re saying no to can come up with a reason your excuse/reason doesn’t matter/can be circumvented than your “no” is refuted. This can be avoided with a straight up “no” that doesn’t have any conditions. Given that’s really hard to do and it feels pretty weird to say “no” without giving a reason.

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